Personal reflections

In 1998 I commenced the process of writing on the illicit drug trade of the Caribbean this was to be one area of my speciality knowledge the other was extremist Islam. This was deliberate on my part as the basis for me to exit the Caribbean and to disappear into the North Atlantic. My gravest hindrance was my poverty which forced me to become a post graduate student at UWI, St Augustine whilst I worked and wrote.I also carried the mark of being politically involved with Basdeo Panday in the formation of the UNC and thereafter. The lesson of my political activity is not that I was hunted by the political enemies of the UNC but by persons within the UNC in the period 1995-2001 for the UNC is guilty of political cannibalism. With my MPhil taking 8 years before it was awarded to me as I wrote on the Jamaat al Mulimeen and the event of July 27th 1990 and my position on it was simply not in keeping with the accepted UWI position. After 8 years my jump to the North Atlantic was dead for all intents and purposes as I wrote a PHD thesis which was too “different” to be and ended with an MPhil. By then I also learnt that acquiring specialist knowledge of the illicit trades of the Caribbean meant nothing to the governments of the Caribbean and the UWI. It also meant nothing to the North Atlantic in their supposed war on drugs. So here I was studying a reality every single day of the year for years trapped in a region that simly was not interested but it was the most dynamic reality which impacted daily life in the Caribbean and by the 21st century it had thrown up a new reality never experienced before that would shake Caribbean society to its core and here I was trapped in T&T. The return to state power of the UNC in 2010 had the expected impact on my working life that I expected as the hunt towards rendering me unemployed was unleashed on me at UWI within months of the UNC’s return to state power. And the end of my employment at UWI will soon become real. Some persons have told me to my face that the lesson of my life is obvious that when I was offered entry to the game I should have grasped this opportunity with both hands. That my religious/moral reasons given for not entering the trade was simply a rationale given to mask my cowardice. To those persons I say maybe they are right even correct but they don’t know of the shadow person that I hate to be that the trade would have brought out and placed in the public domain. But what about the hundreds of males much younger than me who are faced with the choice every single day of life my life is then the lesson to them that it is futile to resist the temptation as there is no reward for those who choose to resist. This is the product of an illicit/licit social order where the rule of law serves those who rule. Massa and his plantation never left.

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